Throughout President Trump’s brief time in office, an MVP has stood out in the administration like a head emerging from some neatly trimmed bushes: Sean Michael Spicer.
In just a few months, Trump’s White House Press Secretary has distinguished himself as America’s very own court jester, distracting from the political chaos by providing the nation with an unpredictable trove of inadvertently humorous-yet-depressing antics.
He has already inspired legendary SNL sketches and alternate credits of HBO’s comedy Veep with his bizarre behavior, all of which we will reminisce upon here, in one beautiful archive — a comprehensive timeline of all the Spicer insanity.
Unlike many political figures, Spicer’s antics are the kind that make you alternate between laughing and crying rather than simply crying. For that, we are truly #blessed.
Who knows where we would be if we didn’t have this man’s tomfoolery to pull our gaze away from the real political issues and force us to laugh off the stresses of this world every now and again.
From his fashion choices to his decision to take cover in some shrubbery as bombshell news broke, here are the most entertaining Sean Spicer moments.
When the world realized he had something far more exciting than Press Secretary on his resume
Remember when everyone found out Sean Spicer was the White House Easter Bunny during his time in the George W. Bush administration? A truly great moment in American history.
It takes a certain type of person to put aside their pride and hop into a terrifying bunny suit simply for the sake of bringing joy to children on Easter. Never forget that.
The Dippin’ Dots drama
In 2010, seven years before he ascended to the position of White House Press Secretary, adult man Sean Spicer launched what is almost certainly the longest documented Twitter feud against Dippin’ Dots, the company that makes those little balls of ice cream with the help of liquid nitrogen.
Dippin dots is NOT the ice cream of the future
— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) April 8, 2010
He festered for over a year about the disappointing dots, and 18 months later, reiterated his claim.
I think I have said this before but Dippin Dots are notthe ice cream of the future
— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) September 22, 2011
He cooled down a bit, probably enjoyed some soft serve, tried out Cold Stone, and perhaps savored a few milkshakes. Then, in 2015, it appears he attended a Washington Nationals game and put his differences with Dippin’ Dots aside, only for his rage to be triggered once again.
It was the world’s most wholesome, one-sided feud and we are so here for it.
Do you even chew gum, bro?
When this White House press secretary isn’t tweeting about his disappointment with Dippin’ Dots, he can probably be found eating gum.
That’s right, according to an old Washington Post article Spicer has a thing for cinnamon flavored Orbit gum. But he doesn’t just chew it, no. He goes hard and swallows it whole. WHOLE! Spicer reportedly finishes “two and a half packs by noon,” but don’t worry, he talked to his doctor, and his doctor said ingesting all that gum is “no problem.”
Great. So all we have to worry about is that the White House press secretary does not know how to properly use chewing gum.
never forget: as you’re looking at Spicer right now, he currently contains at least 2.5 packs of swallowed gum.
— Pat Dennis (@patdennis) January 23, 2017
The week of cryptic tweets
Back in January it appeared Sean Spicer was using his Twitter account to call out for help.
We know Trump and his administration are not great at social media, but this was some next-level nonsense. Spicer tweeted and then deleted some sort of password not once, but two days in a row.
Keeping his data public
You’d think a spokesperson for the president would go to great lengths to ensure his personal information is kept under wraps. Not Sean Spicer.
Spicer jumped at this important job opportunity without bothering to remove his phone number, home address, or email account from WHOIS, the database of people who own domain names.
O.K., but he definitely kept his Venmo account secret from the general public, right? No, Spicer allowed himself to be hit with hundreds of Venmo requests requesting payment for everything from anxiety medication to cab ride fare and college tuition payment.
A true man of the people.
His inability to pronounce simple names
Everyone knows Canadian heartthrob, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Everyone except Sean Spicer, apparently.
Justin is a classic, simple name — if anything you think Spicer would have trouble with Trudeau, but no, we must remember the press secretary is unlike anyone else on this planet.
Sure, he might have simply elided Justin and Trudeau, making it sound like “Joe,” but that didn’t stop everyone having as much fun as humanly possible with the slip.
Earlier in the month, Spicer also had some trouble with the name of Prime Minister of Australia Malcolm Turnbull, who he called “Malcolm Trumble.”
But hey, we get it, it’s hard being in the hot seat literally every day. We wouldn’t do any better. Except on the names of world leaders. Those we would definitely get right.
Another cry for help
Spicer again worried America when his patriotic American flag pin got flip turned upside down.
No seriously, multiple reporters had to bring it to his attention.
Was it another attempt at a cry for help? Simply a fashion mishap? Spicer trying to be a trendsetter? A subtle House of Cards reference? We’ll never know for sure. But it’s absurd and it happened.
Just begging to be memed
Another amazing fashion moment for the Spice master. He wore a solid green tie on live television, which in 2017 is the equivalent of waving a red flag at the Internet.
Inevitable green screen trolling and outstanding Photoshopping ensued.
The unfortunate incident with the teeth
O.K., this one could happen to anyone. We’ll give this to you, Spicey.
That time he was so, so bad at history
Spicer, in trying to defend Donald Trump’s decision to launch a military strike on Syria, claimed, “even Hitler didn’t sink to the level of using chemical weapons” in World War II.
So that happened. Then he referred to Nazi concentration camps as “Holocaust centers.” In short, a lot of things were said that should not have been said.
He later dug the hole deeper by saying he meant Hitler “was not using the gas on his own people” the way Assad did. He apologized a lot for letting President Trump down.
He did not apologize for letting us down.
When he hid in the bushes or among the bushes or whatever
When things get tough, we can always count on our goofy press secretary to inspire a meme, so naturally, when Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, Spicer must have just known he needed to hide in the bushes. You know, for the good of the American people.
The Washington Post reported that following news of Comey’s firing Spicer “spent several minutes hidden in the darkness” in the bushes and would only emerge if he could answer questions without being filmed.
However, the White House later demanded a clarification, which the Post provided in the form of an editor’s note. The press secretary was standing AMONG the bushes, not in them, as our own Max Knoblauch so beautifully illustrates here:
Whatever his actual proximity to the bushes was, we are confident that only Sean Spicer could inspire a news story so uniquely absurd.
What a ride. Thanks for spicing up our lives, Sean.