In the year 2017, it’s hard to come by a piece of good news. In fact, it’s almost impossible. The year, thus far, has been a political and cultural nightmare, fueled by nonstop, almost unimaginable Bond Villain-esque evil.
It seems like bright spots are few and far between, with every day birthing a new unimaginable darkness.
But there are bright spots, you just have to know where to look for them. For instance: Trump has been been taking cheap shots at Kim Jong-un more and more on Twitter, and it’s easy to fear that our president would end the world with a tweet.
But now, thank god, he is just saying he should have left a private citizen in a foreign prison out of spite.
Now that the three basketball players are out of China and saved from years in jail, LaVar Ball, the father of LiAngelo, is unaccepting of what I did for his son and that shoplifting is no big deal. I should have left them in jail!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 19, 2017
It’s incredibly good, in the SCOPE of things in 2017, that our president is merely attacking a family of Americans and saying that he should have left their college-aged son in a Chinese jail for five to 10 years for the small crime of petty theft.
This is good news, remember, because the situation could be so much worse. He could be tweeting “sending nukes” or whatever the fuck to “@China” on Twitter or even deploying a garrison of troops to raid the Buckingham Palace because the Queen said he is “uncouth.” Who knows really! It’s impossible to imagine what he COULD BE doing. But right now? He is simply publicly lamenting that he let American citizens out of an undemocratic regime’s prison system because the father of one of them did not personally thank him for that.
And that, my friends, within context, is GREAT. It is the best thing that could be happening.
It wasn’t the White House, it wasn’t the State Department, it wasn’t father LaVar’s so-called people on the ground in China that got his son out of a long term prison sentence – IT WAS ME. Too bad! LaVar is just a poor man’s version of Don King, but without the hair. Just think..
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 22, 2017
For his calculated prescience to not thank Donald Trump, and thereby becoming the main target of his online vitriol, LaVar Ball is nothing short of our modern day Paul Revere.
Thank you to an American hero.
Look, I might sound insane, but you know I am right, and the fact remains clear: It is good that Trump is calling out and insulting private American citizens on Twitter.
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