President Donald Trump took time out of his Infrastructure Week speech on Friday to toss some binders off a podium, because regulations are choking the red, white, and blue blood that flows through the veins of America.
The binders, apparently full of details about a project based in Maryland, are too much to read. There is a lot of paper inside them.
The president picked up one of three binders, flipped through its pages like I flipped through textbooks in middle school when I wanted to get angry at just how many pages there were, and tossed it on the ground. He picked up another one and did much the same thing.
“Nobody’s gonna read it,” Trump said. “These binders on the stage could be replaced by just a few simple pages, and it would be just as good.”
What we need, Trump seemed to say, is a SparkNotes for infrastructure regulations. Because, without the metaphorical pages in those metaphorical binders, the country would have new roads and buildings and trains and airports, so much infrastructure that we Americans would get tired of all the infrastructure.
“Look at how new it all is,” we would say. “If only we’d known that paper was holding us back.” Now we know.
Of course, Twitter was on hand with some observations following the stunt.
Happy Infrastructure Week everyone.